Hospitality

Hello Friends!

It has been a long time since I have written a blog here, but I just have some things on my mind and chest I want to share that have been thinking about for some time now. So, here we go...


I want to talk about hospitality and the lack thereof, particular among Christians. You know, growing up I was a part of a church that did a great job of being hospitable and doing socials to keep the church members in community and socializing. There would be potlucks and sometimes breakfasts' as well there would be other sort of things. Also, I had some friends we would invite each other over to our houses after church and hangout. To some point, even when as I got a little older and having been to different churches, there were still hospitality.

However, now I am in my late 20's, I feel like there really is not much hospitality going on, especially being single. I have noticed young married couples, even ones with kids, they do stuff together and invite other couples over and really do this whole hospitality well. I do not understand why myself and others my age and single are often neglected and stuck at home more times than not, while the married coupled are hosting dinners and such. Don't get me wrong, it is great being with others in the same stage of life. Sometimes, its awesome being at home for a quite evening. It is great I can choose to go out and do stuff. There is a lot of freedom there. But, I have learned it is good to be around people in all walks of life. I have some great friends whom are married. There are a few that I can call and they will be there to talk, pray and encourage me, which is awesome! But it seems singles, especially older singles get  left out of things, or worse, always asked to babysit. I have not had that problem fortunately, but some singles do,

My question to you married folks is: Is that all you think people who are not married are good for??

I get it is a good opportunity to make some money and even serve couples so they can get out and do things, Just, do not make that the only thing to ask single folks to do, they want to be included in the fun things too!

Again, just sharing stuff from my mind and chest. I am a lot of people in my life in different walks of life and I am thankful for them and their encouragement.

So, as far as hospitality goes, I really enjoy hosting people. It is biblical to show hospitality to others. It is a great way to invite friends who do not go to church and build up relationships. But, lets take a look a what the bible says:

Romans 12:9-16 "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited." There is a lot to this passage, but yeah we really should make hospitality a priority.

In the book of Titus, Paul writes about how someone who is an overseer is hospitable. Titus 1:7-8 "Since an overseer is entrusted with God's work, he must be blameless-- not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. Rather he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined."

1 Peter 4:8-11 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength of God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Christ Jesus. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."

So, we are to be hospitable. Now, you will notice, that it does not really specify on who other than each other, one another, ect. So, we need to do things with not just people in our same walk of life, though sometimes that is good and is helpful, but others of other walks of life too, Like, show me where in the bible it says for couples to only hangout with couples, again that it is important too, but it should not be the only thing, and singles to hangout with only singles.  Seems to me, in the early church especially everyone gathered together, I am single, but I have had young couples over to hangout and I had a ton of fun with them. We are the body and should gather together and function as such, regardless if we are single, married, have kids, do not have kids, are empty nesters, ect.

In college, it was important to me to have socials and people over. Though I admit I mostly focused on college-aged people. I wanted to provide a place to come and hangout in a safe environment and away from the typical wild-college party. I enjoyed that a lot. I do not do that as much anymore and I would like to get back into having people over.

In Hebrews, we are presented with a another way of looking at the hospitality thing. Hebrews 13:1-2 "Keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." So, you could be doing just that.

It is important to include strangers, like new people to a group or church or work environment, ect. If you only invite a certain group of friends, you could be leaving the door open for the clique thing to come in, which is not love and is hurtful, Again, its ok to hangout with the go to friends from time to time, just be open to the Lord bringing in new folks and new friends and try to include in things at some point,

Another point I want to talk about in hospitality, is what is said in the book of James.

James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world"

It is important to look out for the widows and orphans. I believe we should look out for the single parents too! Single moms and even single dads should be looked out for too. They should be included in things and shown hospitality. It is important to be sensitive to their needs and what they are going through, but give it a shot. At the end of the day, we all want to be apart and we all want to be able to sit down and share stories and be included.

So, this just what has been on my heart, We are human and mess up, I know I have. I know I have fallen into excluding people, and if you are one of those reading this, I am so sorry, forgive me. I know for me as well, I have really have just wanted to hang out with single people, but I need to hangout with folks from other walks of life too.

My final encouragement, as I struggle with this sometimes, is if you are unsure who to invite to a party, social, ect. Pray about it! Seek the Lord and ask him and he will guide you. Again, if there are friends you know you want, its ok. You do not have to invite everyone every time. You can't fit everyone in your home. Just let the Holy Spirit lead the way and live in grace and freedom.

1 Corinthians 13: What is Love? Love is Not Self-Seeking

Hello Friends,

Here is another blog on what God has been teaching me on what love is.

Love is Not Self-Seeking.

Self-seeking: Selfish

You know, being self-seeking can be hard not to do. We naturally want to look out for ourselves. Look out for number 1, etc. However, we are to look out for others, help them out if they need it. Granted we need to be careful and wise in how we spend our time and money and help people. Helping others should still be a priority.

1 Corinthians 10:24 "Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others."

Again, as I have written in previous blogs, we should look to build people up, not tear them down. It does not matter if you agree with them or not on various things. If you disagree on politics, sport teams to cheer for or whatever, still be kind and look to build him or her up and look out for their good.

These days, it is so sad to see people seeking out to hurt others, just because they share a different view on politics or life in general.  Christ calls us to love one another. We need to love, pray for, and bless those who hurt or are mean to us.

Galatians speaks of being self-seeking as not a good trait. Galatians 5:19,20 "The acts of sinful nature are obvious... idolatry, and witchcraft; hatred, discord,  jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factious..."

You also see it described as a negative trait in James.

James 3:14-18 "But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness."

Then in Proverbs 18:1 " An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgement."
Its interesting that self-seeking person is described as "unfriendly." Looking out for only you can damage relationships and push people away.  We have all done it at some point or another. Anyone reading this and I have done that in our friendship, I am sorry. I have certainly have hurt some friendships in this manner.

I need to put others first before me, more often. We make mistakes everyday. We have grace and forgiveness in Christ, which is great. We do still need to apologize when we do slip up.

Seeking the good of others can actually help you have more people around you, who want to be around you, seeking their good can help them feel good and help them grow, as it can do the same for you. Its a matter of your intentions and having good ones.

Christ, in looking out for our good, died for us on the cross and paid our debt. Now we spend a glorious eternity with him in heaven.

2 Corinthians 5:15 " And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves, but for him who died for them and was raised again."


Philippians 2:2-4 "...then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in the spirit and purpose: Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves: Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

So, its fine to look to your own interests for sure, try to help others out with theirs too. Also, when consider others better than you, that means, look to their needs. If they ask for help, try to find an opportunity to help out, even it means missing out on a Saturday football game or something like that. Look to help out others more than yourself. So it does not mean you have to go around believing that you are no good and everyone is better than you. Have confidence in who you are and your abilities and interests, be happy with who you are you, you are special and awesome!

Here is another good verse:

Romans 15:1-2 "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up." (or her)

Build others up. You don't have to butter them up, just look to encourage and help. Do it in a loving manner and with good intentions. Helping someone to get something out of it, can be self-seeking. Now if you are doing work, knowing they are paying you and they have told you they would pay you, that is a little different, but still cautious of your intentions.

Be encouraged that we all struggle and mess up. We all have moments of self-seeking times. I certainly do. Our hope is in Christ and his love and mercy for us each day. Continue to fight on in this race as Paul described it.